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Friday, May 01, 2015 @ 6:08 pm
Well I should have told this story some time ago, but I was curious to see if my hypothesis was right. I always thought that some things are meant to stay in your mind only for a short while, and lessons that are forgotten are just not memorable enough. I guess this story of mine really has a profound impact on me then.It's about the driving test again. You heard me right. This shit's still stuck in my head. But there's something else to it. In all honesty, I've regarded you as a safe all this while -- an entity where I just dump my assets, leave them there and never be reminded of them until something happens. And there you are, just nonchalantly taking whatever I have up, right up to every single cent, even still seemingly having more space than ever, never satisfied and filled. I hate to say this but... that fury of mine culminates every time the lesson ends. I thought there were some things in life that are just so easy, just right there for you to claim. I grudgingly still pay my due anyway. I thought you were a mercenary individual. When time's up you leave, when I fail perhaps you chuckle and think... what an idiot to fail at such an easy thing. I shouldn't have been so miserable and bitter. That day, you couldn't stop nagging at my ear and reminding of all the little things I would definitely forget when my mind went on a wild chase against time. You cajoled and reassured me like how a father would comfort his little girl when she's shaken by her nightmare. You implored for me to kill the existence of my figment of imagination which has been telling me that I am super incompetent. You planned and set aside extra time for my final lesson for me to calm my nerves, and for you to drive me around, showing me that some things are always possible to achieve when you set your heart and mind to it. When I short-changed you of a dollar, you told me that it didn't matter, hinted to me that as long as I passed this one dollar would be worth it. A man of few words, but I was truly surprised at how much I got from you on that day. Up till this day I regret how I've been misunderstanding you and how much I haven't respected you, even if I know I didn't show it. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget these little things you've done for me as a stranger. There are just too many sides to a person. Often we are blinded only by the side that we see and believe from what others say, whether good or bad or ugly. What we fail to see are almost always the aspects that are the dearest and most precious to us, the aspects that could make or break your beliefs and faith in humanity. We let things and people slip by without noticing. There are times and opportunities where we can salvage our actions, by making it up to people and erasing all traces of ignorance, I believe resolution comes most of the times. But I truly will never want to live the day when all hope of salvation is lost. Okay when I re-read this post it seems to be super myopic and far-fetched... but I'm not sure why I felt so strongly then. |